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09 October 2010 @ 05:07 pm
title: Distraction
Theme: Distraction
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Toshiya/Kaoru
Rating: G
Comments: i'm just posting all the fics i wrote here so i could make a decent archive and have it all together♥

Sighing to himself, toshiya walked down the street, near to his practise building. He was already a bit late and he was afraid of the other's reaction, specially kaoru's reaction. It was really his fault, but his lack of sleep was getting harder and harder last days, he in fact couldn't remember when was the last time he got a good sleep. That meant sleep laying on a bed, with a pajama; sleeping peacefully and taking a good rest. But the reality was that toshiya always ended up dozen off in his sofa, when his caffeine pills just didn't work anymore.
Then he always ended up waking up late, his heart beating so fast and panting. Shaking hands reaching for a cig and for the caffeine pills, rushing off to his room and picking for new clothes. That was toshimasa hara's life lately and he couldn't understand how much it did change.

He was walking down the corridors and he was thankful that he didn't hear any sound of instruments coming from their practise room, maybe he wasn't as late as he thought he was. Searching for the door handle he finally opened the door and steped inside the practise room. Not looking up.

"Sorry..." He barely whispered, walking to his spot and searching for his bass. He then looked up and realized that kyo was already there but there were no die or no Shinya. Then he could feel a powerful stare towards him, and he turned his face. Kaoru.

"it's okay." The guitarrist said with an almost freezing tone. "Shinya and Die are not here yet, they called. They are in the middle of a traffic jam, and that they don't know when they are going to arrive" He continued with his speech, his voice not even showing any kind of feeling, smiling faintly though "I'm off to smoke a cig" And not saying anymore, the black haired guitarrist left the room.

Feeling already too much tired to think about the guittarist, he left his bass in his usual spot and move to the sofa. Looking around he thought that a cigarrete could be good, but he just didn't want to share the same smoking-spot with the guitarrist.


Toshiya sighed and looked for his bag, reaching desperatly for his caffeine pills, swallow two of them with the no need of water. Rubbing his eyes, his mind was still stuck with the sight of kaoru. Toshiya just couldn't remember when their relationship changed too much, too fast. One day there were no words left. There were nothing, nothing at all. Toshiya found himself loosing something so important for him, a long relationship that was crushing between his hands and he just wasn't able to fix it, he wasn't able to stop it. Just one day, his oh-so-called relationship wasn't a relationship anymore.

First toshiya tried to call, but there were no words that could help him, nothing at all. Sometimes he didn't get any answer. He thought about talk with Die or Kyo, they should know something, but he ended up receiving a 'what makes you think I should know something?. Kaoru doesn't talk about you' from the red haired guitarrist and a soft growl from the tiny vocalist.

After a few months trying to fight against himself, Toshiya realized that there's nothing to fight. So he just stopped trying. His life came became boring and himself, totally against his own nature, became a lonely person. He ended up barely going out and he almost didn't move from home, just for practise, tours and when he had the need to buy food or his beloved caffeine pills. But toshiya's life dramatically reduced to: practise, home, watching tv till 6 am, dozen off, nightmare, get up, pills, practise and everything again. he couldn't blame anyone, it was only his own fault.

The sound of the door made toshiya struggle from his thoughts looking up. Kaoru and kyo entered the room, followed shortly by Die and Shinya, which rushed to their spot to get ready his instruments. Toshiya didn't even say a word to greet the red headed guitarrist and the blond drummer, he just got up from his spot and took his bass, waiting for the leader sign of starting.

Minutes after, he ended up himself looking at kaoru, not directly but following him since the corner of his eyes, not missing any movement of the older guitarrist. Toshiya smiled to himself, even if his situation was like that, he was glad he could stare at kaoru like that. Too much lost into kaoru's sight he didn't realize he was loosing his beat when he heard how kaoru stopped and growled, looking directly at him.

Toshiya gulped, trying to find for an excuse, everyone looking at him with weird eyes "eh.. I... I... got... distracted."

The black haired man growled again "You 'always' got distracted toshiya, i won't allow more mistakes..." He said with an harsh tone.

The younger bassist just nodded to the hard words, whispering that it wasn't going to happen never again. Hearing the guitarist sighing, he made the sing again and they started playing.

Moving a bit away from the guitarrist, and looked to the floor, toshiya went on playing, preventing himself of not make any simple mistake. Letting out a tiny whimper, that could be heard because of the loud music, thinking that, after all that years, kaoru for him, was nothing more than a distraction, because he couldn't get more of him.
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